Where Do You Stand on the Toughest Parenting Questions?

There's no official rulebook when it comes to parenting, so the "right" response to every tricky scenario and loaded question (from "Why ... Search Subscribe GH+MemberPortal ProductReviews GHSealSpotlight GHTested Appliances HomeProducts CookingTools BeautyProducts Health&FitnessProducts Children'sItems&Toys Cars&TravelProducts Clothing Electronics Food&DrinkProducts HomeIdeas JointheGHStitchClub DecoratingIdeas Crafts&DIYProjects Cleaning Organizing Gardening&Outdoors Renovation&Repair BedroomIdeas LivingRoomIdeas BathroomIdeas KitchenIdeas Food&Recipes Quick&EasyRecipes HealthyRecipes DinnerRecipes DessertRecipes CookingTips PartyIdeas ChickenRecipes SoupRecipes AllRecipes Beauty&Style HairIdeas MakeupTips Skincare Nails HairColors Fashion Health Fitness Wellness Diet&Nutrition Life JointheGHBookClub BlackFridayDeals2021 Money Entertainment Relationships Parenting Pets InspirationalStories Career Travel Holidays GiftIdeas Christmas Thanksgiving Halloween Easter Valentine'sDay Mother'sDay Mother'sDayGiftIdeas Father'sDay AboutUs Awards Events Newsletter Follow Instagram Facebook Pinterest Twitter YouTube TikTok Shop Editors'Picks FortheHome Health&Wellness Food&Recipes HolidayDeals LiveLifeBeautifullyPlanner WaterTestKits HandSanitizer Promotions UnitedStates US UK DoNotSellMyPersonalInformation Editions: US UK Subscribe SignIn MyAccount SignOut Typekeyword(s)tosearch Today'sTopStories 1 TheBestNewYearSalesof2022 2 14BrilliantChristmasOrnamentOrganizers 3 60AchievableNewYear'sResolutions 4 I'mtheBreadwinner,ButEveryoneAssumesI'mNot 5 6BestWorkoutFitnessMirrorsof2021 DesignbyBetsyFarrellGettyImages There'snoofficialrulebookwhenitcomestoparenting,sothe"right"responsetoeverytrickyscenarioandloadedquestion(from"Whycan'tIhaveicecreamfordinner?"to"Wheredobabiescomefrom?")isultimatelyupfordebate.Wonderingwhereyoustandincomparisontoothermomsanddads?Toseehowtoday'sparentsreallyfeelaboutsomeoftheage-olddilemmasthatcomewiththejob—aswellassomenewissuesthathavestartedcroppingup(hi,nonstopYouTubeplaylists!)—voteinthepollsbelow,thencheckoutwhattheexpertshavetosayaboutthesecommonparentingquestions.RaisingInfantsandToddlers ImageSourceGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Firstthingsfirst,parentsshouldnottrytosleeptraintheirinfantuntilshereaches4to6monthsofage,saysDr.RobinJacobson,apediatricianatHassenfeldChildren’sHospitalatNYULangone."Cryingisababy’swayofcommunicatingwiththeirparentsandallowingtheirparentstoknowthattheyneedsomething,"shesays.Thatsaid,"Sleeptrainingallowsbabiestolearntoselfsoothesowhentheywakeupinthemiddleofthenighttheyareabletoputthemselvesbacktosleep."Whilebothpediatriciansandparentshavedifferentapproaches,Dr.Jacobsonrecommendsplacingyourwide-awakebabyinhercribafterfeedingherandchangingherdiaper."Parentsshouldcheckandreassurethebabyeveryfiveminutesthefirstnightandthenincreasethetimebetweenchecksonsubsequentnights,"sheadvises. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:"Bed-sharingisnotrecommendedforanybabies,"AAPquotespediatricianandSIDSresearcherRachelY.Moon,MD,FAAPassaying."Onlybringyourbabyintoyourbedtofeedorcomfort."Ifthere'sachanceyoumightdozeoffwithyourbabyalongsideyou,sherecommendsmakingsuretherearen'tanypillows,sheets,blankets,orotheritemsthatcouldcoveryourbaby'sheadnearby.Ifyouaccidentallyfallasleep,moveyourbabytohisorherownbedassoonasyouwakeup.Asforco-sleepingwitholderkids,that'syourcall! PeopleImagesGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Everyonehateschangingdiapers,butdon'tpushyourkidtousethepottybeforehe'sready.Mostchildrendevelopthephysiologicalabilityto"holdit"around18months,accordingtotheAAP,buttheygenerallydon'treachthecognitive,social,verbal,andemotionallevelsrequiredtodosountilaftertheyturn2yearsold.TheAAPstatesthatparentshavethebestchanceofgettingtheirkidssuccessfullytoilettrainedwheneverypieceofthepuzzlefallsintoplace.Asforwhenthatis?Itdependsoneveryindividualchild.Sometoddlersjustdon'twanttositstilllongenoughtodotheirbusiness! Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:It'sokaytodo,butyoushouldtakesomeprecautions,saysDr.Jacobson."Bykissingbabiesandchildren,onecanspreadcoldsores,strep,stomachviruses,bacterialinfections,andrespiratoryviruses,"sheexplains."Parentsshouldlimitfriends,extendedfamily,andlittlechildrenfromkissingtheirkids."RaisingSchool-AgeChildren ArtMarieGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:TheCentersforDiseaseControl(CDC),AmericanAcademyofSleepMedicine(AASM),andtheAmericanAcademyofPediatrics(AAP)allagreethat5-year-oldsneed10to13hoursofsleepperday,includingnaps.Evengradeschoolersshouldlognineto12hourspernight.Thatmeansifyouwakeyourchildupat7a.m.forschool,youwouldneedtotuckhiminat9p.m.latest. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:"Parentsshouldavoidmakingseparatemealsforchildrenwhoarepickyeaters,"saysStephanieWagner,PhD,childpsychologistattheChildStudyCenteratNYULangoneHealth.Butreally,thekeyishowyoureactasaparentwhenyourkidrefusestoeatsomething."Stayingcalmandavoidingthreatsandpunishmentsisimportanttoavoidincreasingstressandnegativeexperiencesduringmeals,"sheexplains.Stillhavingtroublemakingbroccolilookappetizing?Trytheseothertips:Presentnewfoodsmultipletimesevenifthechildhasrefusedit.Involvekidsintheprocessofpreparingfood.Serveunfamiliarfoodswithpreferredfoods.Don'tletkidssnackheavilybetweenmeals.Dinewithyourkidssoyoucanmodeleatingdifferentfoods.Makethewholefamilyeatthesamemeal.Bringupanyconcernswithyourpediatrician. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Mostfamilyresearchersagreethatspankingisn'taneffectivewaytodisciplinechildren,anditmayevenhavenegativeeffectsinthelongrun.Dataonmorethan160,000childrencollectedovera50-yearperiodlinkedspankingwithaggression,antisocialbehavior,mentalhealthproblems,lowself-esteem,negativeparent-childrelationships,andimpairedcognitiveability,accordingtoa2017studyintheJournalofFamilyPsychology.MorerecentresearchfromtheUniversityofMichiganalsofoundthatadultswhowerespankedaschildrenweremorelikelytofeeldepressed,attemptsuicide,drinkheavily,oruseillegaldrugs.That'snottosayyoushouldn'tprovideyourkidswithfirmboundariesandrules,butcurrentevidencesuggestsphysicalpunishmentisn'tthewaytogo. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:"Atimeoutisaneffectiveandsafewaytodecreaseproblematicbehavior,althoughit'softenmisused,"Dr.Wagnersays."Inordertousethisstrategyeffectively,parentsshouldmakesurethetimeoutisbrief,usedinresponsetospecificbehaviors,andabsentofpositiveornegativeattention."Dr.Jacobsonagreesthatconsistencywithtimeout-warrantingactionsiskey."Ifoneparentallowsthechildtojumponthecouchandtheothertellsthechildnotto,thechildisgettingmixedmessages,"sheexplains."Timeoutsgivethechildandparentstimetocalmdowninasituationandallowsthechildtolearnrightfromwrong." HeroImagesGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Onlythreestatescurrentlyhavelawsrestrictingtheageatwhichchildrencanstayathomealone.(Illinoishasthestrictestat14,Oregon'sstartsat10,andMarylandhasthelowest,at8.)Outsideoftheofficialrulebook,it'suptoparentstogaugetheirkids'maturity.TheChildWelfareInformationGatewayasksparentstoconsiderquestionsliketheonesbelowbeforeleavingkidsontheirown.(Youcangetthefulllisthere.)Doesyourchildobeyrulesandmakegooddecisions?Howdoesyourchildrespondtounfamiliarorstressfulsituations?Willtherebeotherkids?Howmanyandhowold?Doesyourchildknowwhattodoifavisitorcomestothedoor?Howsafeisyourneighborhood?Doesyourchildknowhisorherfullname,address,andphonenumber?Doesyourchildknowwhereyouareandhowtocontactyouandothertrustedadultsatalltimes? Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Kidsasyoungas2yearsoldcanhelpwithjobslikeputtingtoysaway,andchildrenshouldprogressivelypitchinmoreastheygetolder,accordingtotheAAP.Chorescanteachkidsresponsibilityandinitiative—butexpertswarnthatparentsshouldtakecarenotoverburdenchildrenwithunrealisticexpectations. BlendImages-JGI/JamieGrillGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Whetheryouputrequirementsbehinditornot,dataindicatesthatchildrenwhoreceiveanallowancefeelsmarteraboutmoney(40%versus25%)andbelievethey'remoreknowledgeableaboutpersonalfinances(32%versus16%),accordingtoa2015studyfromT.RowePrice.Oneidea:Assignsomebasicresponsibilitiesasunpaid(e.g.,makingyourbed)andothersaspaid(mowingthelawn),sokidscanearnpartoftheirallowance. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:LastDecember,parentsspentanaverageof$330totalontheirchildren,accordingtoaRetailMeNotsurvey.GivethattheaverageU.S.familyhastwoorthreechildren,that'sabout$110to$165each. el_clicksGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:"ParentsshouldtellthetruthaboutSantawhenachildisreadyforit,"Dr.Wagnerrecommends."WhenchildrenbegintoquestionSanta,parentsshouldfindoutwhattheythink.Somechildrenmayhavequestionsbutmaynotbereadytogiveupthetradition."That'snottosayparentsshouldcontinuethemythlongerthannecessary:"IfachildsaysthattheydonotthinkSanta’sreal,parentsshouldtellthetruth,"sheadds. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:It'sawkward,butyouhavetodoit."Openlyaddressingtheall-too-humanquestionsofsexualdevelopment,sexualdesire,andthenatureoftheadolescent’sdevelopingsexualidentityarecritical,"theAAPsays."Thetraditional'birdsandbees'lecture(orpamphlethandedtothechildtoreadonherorhisown)onreproductivebasicsiscompletelyinadequate." Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Takeadvantageofteachablemomentsandtalktokidsinanage-appropriateway,theAAPadvises.Thatmeansstartinginpreschoolwiththepropernamesforbodyparts,andgraduallyteachingkidsmorebeforegettingintodetailsaboutsexandpubertyat8to9yearsofage.Equallyimportant:KidsshouldlearnaboutSTDs,contraception,andwhathealthyrelationshipslooklike—evenifit'ssometimesuncomfortabletotalkabout.RaisingTeensandTweens JGI/JamieGrillGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:TheFederalTradeCommissiondoesn'tissueageguidelineswhenitcomestochildrenandcellphones.Instead,itadvisesconsideringyourchild'spersonalityandmaturity(aswellasage)beforebuyingone—andofcourse,usingparentalcontrolandsafetyfeatureswhenyoudo.Youcanalsolookintophoneswithlimitedinternetaccessandrestrictedtextingforyoungerkids.Alsoonyourlistofdutiesasaparent:warningthemaboutdangerssuchasoversharingonsocialmedia,textinganddriving,andcyberbullying.Dr.Jacobsonsayssheseesmostparentsgivetheirchildrenaphonewhentheyentermiddleorjuniorhighschool,butwatchout:"Limitthetimethechildshouldusethephone,"sheadvises."Manychildrenhaveproblemswithsleepbecausetheyaretextinglateintothenight." Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Aone-hourlimitonscreentimeforkidsolderthan2helpsprotectthemfromobesity,sleepproblems,poorschoolperformance,andriskybehaviors,accordingtotheAAP.Withtoddlers,youshouldn'tletthemusemediabythemselvesandinsteadusedevicesasanopportunitytointroducehigh-qualityprogrammingorapps.Butifyou'rehavingtroublecombatingyourhighschooler'scellphoneaddiction,you'renotalone.Awhopping25%ofteensdescribethemselvesas"constantlyconnected"totheinternet. KidStockGettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:BasedontheAAPguidelines,teensneed8to10hoursofsleeppernight.Thatmeansifyourhighschooler'salarmgoesoffat6:30a.m.fora7:30a.m.schoolstarttime,heneedstofallasleepby10:30p.m.orearlier. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:ThelawisclearthatthelegaldrinkingageintheU.S.is21,butunderageuseismoreprevalentthanyoumightthink.Oneinsixteensadmittodrinkingsomuchthatthey'veexperiencedalcohol-inducedblackouts,accordingtotheAAP.Teendrinkingalsoputskidsathigherriskofunprotectedsex,sexualassault,andrecklessdriving,nottomentionthediseaseriskassociatedwithprolongedalcoholabuse.TheAAPadvisesstayingfirmonnotallowingunderagekidstodrink,evenifit'ssometimesframedasa"safer"alternativetousingothersubstancesordrugs.Andfinally... WeekendImagesInc.GettyImages Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Expertssay:Ifyouthinkyou'realone,you'renot."It'snotpoliticallycorrecttoadmitthatyouhaveafavoritechildbutitisnormal,"Dr.Jacobsonstates."Inmanyfamilies,aparent'sfavoritechildcanchangeeveryfewminutes."You'llstillwanttokeepthattoyourselfthough."Whenchildrenrealizethataparentprefersonechildoveranother,itcancauseproblemsinthefamilyandincreasesiblingrivalry,"sheadds.Howdoyouthinkyourparentingskillsstackup? Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. Thiscontentisimportedfrom{embed-name}.Youmaybeabletofindthesamecontentinanotherformat,oryoumaybeabletofindmoreinformation,attheirwebsite. CarolinePicard HealthEditor CarolineistheHealthEditoratGoodHousekeeping.comcoveringnutrition,fitness,wellness,andotherlifestylenews. 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